There’s been a meme out there on the jolly old Interweb for some time about the coming Zombie apocalypse. Very soon. In fact that’s probably them at the front door right now, coming to eat what little brains you have. Might be the Avon lady, Jehovah’s witnesses, or the Postman with a special delivery. On the other hand it could be (Dee-DAH-DAAAH!) Zombies. OMG! Keep a double barrelled shotgun loaded with cut shells inside the front door, just on the off chance someone pops by and wants to eat your brains. I actually once met someone who did just this – a hasty retreat was rapidly beaten.
This view of life is reflected in popular movies like World War Z, 28 Days, Sean of the Dead, Warm Bodies etc. As well as a lot of extremely bad teen slasher movies, in which category I include all Zombie, Vampire, Werewolf and other living dead movies, apart from Sean of the Dead, whose saving grace is that it is very funny indeed.
The truth of the matter is that real live Zombies are all around us. The walking dead. The genuine article. Alive, yet not so. People who move, eat, shit and sleep, but whose last attempt at cogent thought fell flat on its face last week before they got out of bed. Some are only part time Zombies, others have it as a full time vocation. When you get used to looking, you’ll be able to spot them just by their shambling, purposeless gait, the mildly fearful vacant look behind the eyes, and dare one say it, their sheer lack of animus. The barely alive, unthinking mass, who exist not by acts of volition but mere instinct. The mob. Yup. Them. The dozy items who don’t look where they are going or think about what they’re doing. Vancouver Island seems to have a plague of them, and they all drive. Their lack of positional awareness is scarier still. You know what? The really scary thing is Zombies are everywhere and look, and often talk, like normal people. Amazing how many Eurozone Politicians suffer from this oddly vacant look. Those that haven’t a near permanent expression of single minded avariciousness, that is.
They’re people whose critical thinking is so non-existent that they believe everything they’re force fed by the lamestream media. They never question their belief systems, just to check. They never suffer from existential doubt or WTF! moments. The deeper questions of life never bother them, such as “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose in life?”, or “Why do I have to take pills that make my snot luminous green?”, or why when it’s supposed to be a record hot year, they’re still having to beat the ice off their undies on the clothes line. All the time repeating the mantra “I hate climate change deniers, they’re dooming the world forever.” While wondering what is causing all the strange bangs and other cold related phenomena. Not to mention that the Southern Hemisphere Winters have been suffering an increased incidence of increased cold events over the past few years.
There is another type of Zombie of course, but a self aware type who don’t go around moaning “Brains, brains.”, they’re the Bill Sticker variant, who range about the earth, moaning; “Brains! Where the fuck is anyone else with any Brains?” Forever seeking sanity in a world where there is apparently little to be found, but that’s my problem.