Don’t know about you, but after a hard day watching corrupt politicians siphon off your taxpayer dollar for their pet projects and their close relatives personal gain, I like to unwind with a nice dry Vodka Martini. It’s a balm for the troubled soul and when all your protests have gone unheard, is an aid to easing the kinks out and resetting tension. Or at least making an evil gloat feel even more worthwhile.

Serves one
One and a half ‘measures’ of any Vodka (I use a small ‘shot’ glass)
A bottle capful of Martini Extra Dry Vermouth
Half a lime
two stuffed green olives
Cocktail stick
Ice (Or plastic ice cubes)
Pre-chilled Martini glass (Or a pre-chilled glass, or a mug, whatever)

Put freshly decanted ice into cocktail shaker. Squeeze half lime over the ice. Add one and a half measures of Vodka and capful of Extra Dry Martini Vermouth. Close cocktail shaker. Shake briefly (Less than ten seconds). Decant chilled mixture into cocktail glass immediately. Put cocktail olives on stick. Place impaled olives in pre-chilled glass, sip elegantly. I said SIP! You, you Phyllis Stein you. Eat Vodka-soused olives.

This is a drink that should take less than sixty of your Earth-seconds to prepare. Any longer and the ice melts and you end up with a soggy travesty of a libation. A decent Martini should have an edge you can shave with, a bite like a Fire Ant and a kick between the ears to drown out the petulant whining of any puerile judgementalist saying “Ooo, that can’t be good for you.” Anything less is a waste of alcohol.

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A Sarcastic Anglo-Canadian gentleman in Ireland, shouting into his own bucket.

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