So be it..

Had a bit of a scare today. Mrs S has been fussing about the last few in the plague of flies that afflicted our new home over the last week or so. Still can’t get over the fact that we’ve only been here just over a week. Anyway, she carried on so that I grumpily borrowed a stepladder from the farm and proceeded to check gutters for various carrion that the flies might be breeding in.

The gutters were clear, but while checking the section next to the most afflicted window, the stepladder suddenly canted almost twenty degrees sideways from vertical. Only some fairly swift and terrified gymnastics on my part stopped this being an incident where the unstable steps dropped me onto the bonnet of our expensive hired car, which only I am currently registered to drive.

Heart in mouth, I carefully balanced myself so I could get to the ground intact without either damaging myself or the car, then made my way to terra firma. Had I actually fallen, the inevitable damage to myself and the car would have been expensive. Or, as I tetchily remarked to Mrs S in the safety of our kitchen; “Don’t ask me to do that again. I almost became a COVID-19 statistic.”

Had the fall proven fatal, an outside but distinct possibility if the ironies of fate are taken into account, my death would no doubt be logged as a fatal COVID-19 ‘case’ when my post mortem PCR test came back positive. Regardless of whether I was suffering any symptoms of anything at all. That’s one of the reasons why ‘experts’ who can only see one side of the story are fucking up the lives of entire countries. They equate test results with actual infections and use their flaky Imperial College computer models to hold us all to ransom. Just like with HIV, BSE, Foot and Mouth, Swine and Avian Flu. I mean come on. How many more times do SAGE or NPHET have to be wrong before those eejits get fired for serial incompetence?

I may have a key fob that says ‘feckin eejit’, but even I’m not that stupid.

On the upside, we’ve found a suitable car. A little SUV with enough luggage space and then some for a few crates of wine, when booze cruises are possible once more. Colour isn’t great and it’s got a minor scrape but the price isn’t bad. Now all we have to do is get insurance. This is the mountain Mrs S and I now have to climb. Life seems to be full of these at the moment, but we’re managing to clamber to the top of each, only to take a breath and go “Oh right. There’s another one. Bugger.” When we see the next one looming on the horizon. So we sigh heavily, gird our rhetorical loins and pick up our metaphorical backpacks before embarking on the next part of the journey.

The secret about all this, if secret there is, is not to stop. Seriously. We’re not hungry or starving, we’ve been careful to do our homework so we can continue our journey. We have objectives. We have money set aside to pay for these things having sold up in Canada to afford this move, this great gamble. One by one, we’re hammering the pieces of our jigsaws into place, making the pieces fit and decorating our new landscape, taking each new hurdle with a deep breath and a sotto voce “So be it”.

3 thoughts on “So be it..”

  1. Like others, I tried fly papers but as they can’t now use the stuff in their coatings that attracts and despatches the little buggers, I took the plunge and bought from Amazon (for less than £40) one of those gizmos with two blue (nearly UV) fluorescent tubes and a v. high voltage grid which suitably zaps the little sods. It appears to be very effective and I do recommend them.

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  2. You might not like the idea, but a couple of years ago I succumbed to Fly Papers. I hate them having once caught my hair in one when I was a very little girl. But they work. And probably better than spraying toxic fly spray all over the place every five minutes.

    It’s to do with Rural Farm Animals. Cow Shit and Pig Shit. And that this is now last ditch for Flies before Winter.

    But I know you well enough by now to know that you will have a much better idea. Let me know when you discover it.

    By the way, I know where my Flies go in Winter. I briefly leave them to The Spiders and then I spray the whole bloody lot into extinction. Sorry about The Spiders.

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    1. The ‘essential oil’ solution seems to mostly work, but there are still those flies that won’t get the memo. Maybe they’re suffering seasonal colds. Don’t know. Care even less. Those buggers gonna DIE!

      I’m going to try another trick that will both repel and eliminate the little sods without gassing us out inside the house. I was thinking some form of gel in the right place or some fly papers in the roof voids. Will report back as events turn.

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