Shall we talk?

I’m busy listening to a Livestream with interest when the phone rings. It’s our cable company. Hmm. That’s the third time this month. Oh well. I picked up.
“Hi, is this Bill?” Comes a friendly voice.
“It is.” I already know what this call is about. They’re going to try and sell me Cable TV. It’s Deja vu all over again.
“Hi. Notice you have internet and phone with us and we’re doing a special deal on cable this month.”
“No.” I can’t help but be amused. “We’re not interested. Not at any price.”
“Not even for ten bucks a…. Er, why?”
“The quality of content is terrible.” I’m trying not to burst out laughing. You can’t fault them for persistence but I’ve elected to be amused rather than get mad. “Two hundred channels and nothing worth watching.”
“What about the sports?”
“I don’t watch sport on TV.” Which is a bit of a fib as I will watch England Rugby matches when there’s footage online, but as most cable sport coverage is heavily cut Soccer, Ice hockey, American Football or Baseball I’m not interested. Watching cable sports coverage whenever we’re at a hotel or bar always irritates me as they keep on moving from game to game on the main cable channels as it’s all re-runs and best ofs. So you can’t get a good feel for the game. The decent coverage is all pay per view and I don’t like televised sport enough to go down that route.
“The news? We got news.” Tantalises the Telemarketeer.
“Which I can get online and in depth instead of the rotation half hour of soundbites cable news channels offer.” Oh I am a tease, but there’s no sense getting mad at these people as their Internet service is quite good.
“We’re just not interested.” I affirm, so we close with the usual ‘have a great evening’ pleasantries.
“Was that the cable company again?” Mrs S calls from the sofa as she’s watching Midsummer Murders (Again) via our AppleTV box. “They don’t give up do they?”
“I think it’s rather sweet of them.” I chortle. Had I been busy I might have been less welcoming, but what the hell, I enjoy a little sport with sales callers now and again. Normally we don’t hear from them more than once a year, but they must be getting desperate to keep on trying a refusenik like me. Personally I think they should shut down the TV and free up bandwidth for even faster Interwebbiness.

Honestly, from what I’ve seen, the cable TV providers can’t even match the quality of something like The Rubin Report on YouTube which interviews people like Jordan Peterson or Niall Ferguson, who explains in quite an entertaining fashion how his position over Brexit shifted. And quite an insightfully nuanced view on Donald Trump to boot. Which I found quite interesting. A lot more engaging than any of CNN’s partisan cable TV output.

6 thoughts on “Shall we talk?”

  1. Had the same sh1t with Sky when I wanted to upgrade my broadband to faster speeds and bin the Sky TV rubbish, which as you say is 100 channels plus of utter f*cking drivel. The conversation went something like this:
    “So you don’t want Sky TV”
    “We’re doing a special deal on “whatever”
    “So what, I won’t be watching it”
    “So you don’t watch TV then”
    “Why not”
    “Because there is nothing worth watching”
    “Really, what about Britain’s got Talent”
    “Are you kidding me? – more like No Talent”
    “So you don’t want Sky TV”
    “No, If I want to watch something about say turning wood on a lathe, I’ll go to youtube”
    “So you don’t watch TV then”
    “Which part of NO are you struggling to come to terms with”
    “So you want me to cancel your Sky TV subscription”
    “Are you sure?”

    and so on and so forth. After 15 minutes of this verbal combat he finally got the message. We shouldn’t have to go through this sh1t


    1. They hate letting go, don’t they? Over here the attitude is more laissez-faire. Which is why I have so much fun with the sales people. They don’t need to be told more than five times. Like English isn’t their first language.


  2. It so helps here when you speak crap French, or at least pretend to. They can spot an English accent at ten miles and give up before you have finished, “Je” I can’t even say “Je” without giving myself away. What a hoot. Love them to bits, of course. But then I can spot a French person speaking English.

    Sorry, probably totally irrelevant.


  3. It’s very true – the real thing, the interesting thing, is in blogs, on youtube, on Twitter, in emails. I have no TV, subscribe to no MSM. Why should I? For what? All I need is here.

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