Great news. My Tomato plants have started flowering. Awwww… innit pretty.

However, does this mean I’ll have to get the cotton buds out to do some assisted insemination? Just to get some baby Tomatoes to develop?

Oh goodness. Will I personally have to deflower my delicate ickle blossoms? Mmm-hmm. Kinky.

Damn! That’s SEXIST!

But somehow intriguing.

4 thoughts on “Awww…”

    1. Not in my kitchen. I’ll not have incoming insects violating the virtue of my Tomato plants. Besides, if I let them in, diversity targets dictate I have to provide fair access to Spiders and Wasps.


  1. “As the celebrity you are I am accusing you of sexual harassment writing, it may have happened 10 seconds ago or 15 years ago but bringing innocent plants into it is perverted and I want my headline!”

    Is that what’s going on now?


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