As in meaning 2 in the online Oxford Dictionary. But there’s a few people out there who are threatening to post ‘spoilers’ of the new Star Wars movie unless Disney makes the movie they demand. As George Lucas himself says at the end of this comic clip of ‘Trigger warnings’; “That’s pathetic.”
Not a particular fan of the fluffy* Star Wars space opera end of Sci-fi myself, but seriously? It’s J J Abrams movie, his brainchild, his living, not theirs. The “Spoiler Jihadi’s”, as they have come to be known, come across as a bunch of whiny spoiled brats who deserve a good slap. The result of Mommy and Daddy being too indulgent and not saying ‘No’ at the appropriate juncture, confiscating their techno-toys and switching off their TV for bad behaviour.
Now piracy of the movie is one thing, if of course you want second rate sound and 640 pixel grainy visuals, but out and out blackmail of the movie makers? That is so far from not on it’s not true.
Spoiler Jihadi’s are the despicable little shits who talk during movies, telling their friends and everyone else loudly what’s going to happen next with lots of “Yeah, this is a good bit. It’s where he / she / it…..” Which is fucking annoying, and on one occasion even had mild mannered me turning round to snarl “Shut. The Fuck. Up.” In the cinema. I was wearing my ragged oil and tobacco reeking cut offs over a roadstained leather jacket that day, over ten years before I came across the civilising influence of my dear lady wife, so my personal grooming was rather erm…. unruly. Did I intimidate, or scare him to silence? I’m not entirely sure but the mouth artist in question did clam up, so I suppose he must have felt some form of embarrassment. At the time I felt annoyed enough to think about dragging the importunate little S.O.B. into the bog and indicate my displeasure by re-enacting the toilet murder scene at the start of ‘Casino Royale’ (Although this incident was well over fifteen years before that specific movies release). I’d paid good money to get into the theatre that damp afternoon and some inconsiderate cunt was trying to ruin my entertainment.
It’s bad enough when someone enters the room when you’re chilling, enjoying a TV movie and demands “What are you watching?” without any consideration whatsoever, talking over an important piece of dialogue or enjoyable action sequence. Instead of simply joining you on the couch to watch and enjoy. Or even being considerate to make some tea and bring a cookie with them to share the experience. I have taken Mrs S to task for such interruptions on more than one occasion and the ‘pause’ button on our Apple TV Box remote is beginning to look a little worn.
So, don’t like what the movie makers have produced little spoilt-jihadi? Go make your own version, writing your own storylines to watch on your home system, but let the Star Wars team do their thing, which most people will actually think worthy of paying to go and see.
* 'Fluffy': A TV show or movie watched for entertainment value alone, no matter if the plot resembles a Gruyère cheese and some of the dialogue is so groanworthy it's actually hilarious.