This explains a lot


Don’t normally read the Fail, but look at who Ms Brooks is cosying up to. Every screengrab tells a story. No doubt substituting Camerloons face would tell the same story. Tip of the virtual Panama to EU Referendum for the headline. Certain parts of the UK media have been far too cosy with Government. By their complicity, I would contend said sections of the media have indulged in the same treasons against the British people that Blair and Brown have.

You know, little things like selling their great grandchildren into debt, dooming the next generation to energy poverty, and taking away what little sovereignty they had. I know it wasn’t much, but as far as the various politicians are concerned, it wasn’t theirs to give away.

Blood and sand. It’s enough to make a man want to start reading the Grauniad. Although my advice would be not to hold one’s breath waiting for that to happen.

Katla update

There are rumblings and grumblings still going on after last nights tremor spike and small jokulhaup (Glacial flood) under Katla in Iceland but nothing definitive. Erik Klemetti reports that there’s a series of glacial cracks in Myrdasjokull, the glacier covering Katla. A bridge and the Icelandic ring road are washed out, but for the moment, according to our man on the spot Jon Frimann, tremor and quake activity has dropped off.

Could this be it? The whimper and not the bang like in 1999? As one who has tickets booked for Europe, I’d like Katla to either quiet down or hold off for another three weeks before giving us a serious fireworks display. I have the feelings my travel insurance has a volcanoes exemption clause.

Just for reference; the last time Katla did go up ‘properly’ was in 1918 with a VEI4+ Class eruption. By comparison, Eyjafjallajökull in 2010 was a VEI2+.

How to solve the ‘obesity crisis’

In my daily round I do see a great many people, who, not to put too fine a point on it, need to shed a few pounds. Although I’ve always been painfully aware of my own tendency to hang on to excess weight, and not being twenty one any more, have to work much harder to get rid of the unwanted extra me. So I’m a little more cautious than many to go flinging the terms ‘blubberino’ or making pointed remarks about great white whales, or going into a frothing diatribe about heart disease and arteries so furred up they cost the health service ‘billions’. Glass houses and stones having their own small compatibility issues. Although nowhere near so much as the cases in point.

Nonetheless, on my daily round a couple of days ago, I was walking up the street behind two such sidewalk blockers and found myself wondering why they had laterally grown to the size they had. Casual observation gave no clues, and in the case of the two in question, this being the town it is, everybody knows somebody. You don’t have to be a detective to find out most things about others who cross your path. I’d seen the people concerned before and a friend had made comment that the two in question were well known as serial dieters who hawkishly watched each and every calorie that passed their lips in case it did something vaguely reckless.

After hearing a number of similar stories, I found myself thinking that maybe the calories themselves were innocent, but the people’s restricted physical mobility might be the key issue. Canadians living as they do, they travel a lot, and some walk a lot (And I do mean a lot), and others don’t. Many people spend so much effort at work, that at the end of the day all they want to do is slump down on a sofa and veg out half watching television.

One of the things I’ve noticed about those who are, let’s say, more than a little over the limit weight wise, are big watchers of TV. It’s how they ‘relax’. Soaps, dramas, talent shows, what passes for news, sports etc. On the whole, and I know this is one of those awful broad brushstroke statements, they are passive absorbers of the world. This being the case, it might be said that Television, that great thief of time, might be the root of the current ‘obesity crisis’ various well meaning control freaks and politicians are always berating everybody about.

Having ditched the old one eyed monster over five years ago, I find that anything over half an hours exposure soporific, so how some people can sit there for hours in front of the idiot box is beyond me. I’m increasingly of the opinion that such long periods of inactivity, vacuously drinking in the dreams of others, actually contributes to packing on the poundage, and some serious people think the same. To quote this article;

According to William H. Deitz, pediatrician and prominent obesity expert at Tufts University School of Medicine, “The easiest way to reduce inactivity is to turn off the TV set. Almost anything else uses more energy than watching TV.”

Of course there are many other sources that say the same things in a similar way. So there you have it. The answer to the great conundrum of increasing obesity in the Western world; Television. Cut the channels down to broadcasting between four o’clock in the afternoon to say eleven o’clock at night and we may find the ‘obesity crisis’ simply disappears as people begin to get lives. No need for ‘five a day’ or ‘eat healthy’ TV campaigns or for healthy eating activists to chain themselves to the doors of fast food eateries. Simply cull the viewing time available and the ‘problem’ will simply go away. TV’s mostly crap anyway. To repeat this axiom;

“Don’t watch TV. It’s a cultural wasteland filled with inappropriate metaphors and an unrealistic portrayal of life created by the liberal media elite.”



Obesity crisis solved! Huzzah! World a much better place, sun shines, birds sing, half hols all round. Well done young William. You’ve saved the day!

Not. Hey, what’s on the other channel? Pass the remote will ya hon? Zzzzzzzzzz….

Well, well, well.

Nice pussyI’ve never been a fan of the Murdoch owned press, least of all the tabloid section, but my goodness isn’t the current state of affairs interesting? Ofcom going after the big guys for a change, and the notorious News of the World disappearing. If you’ll forgive the schadenfreude, the Times and associated tabloid media have done a lot of harm over the years. Reputations unjustly trashed, bloggers ‘outed’, people unjustly fingered for crimes they didn’t commit. The unthinking mob set on innocents. Whatever is coming to them couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of people.

Right at this moment I’m enjoying a delightfully warm smug feeling of self righteous satisfaction. (Evil chuckle, strokes metaphorical white cat) There’s the added bonus that if Camerloon and his über green cohorts go down with the Murdoch ship you may hear raucous laughter echoing all the way from British Columbia.

Erm…..

Have run out of things I want to say right now. Honestly. I’m rendered mute on the blogging front. There is little I haven’t said before in one form or another, and quite frankly me dears, I can’t be arsed to say it. Although I’m sure something will drift into view to raise the molten river of anger that seems to drive my postings. It’s just for the minute, like some volcano, I am quiescent.

Does this mean humanity is any less asinine, myopic and greedy? Politicians and their owners doubly so? Well, to put it in the merest lilliputian of Filbert casings, no. So no change there, then.

What else? Summer has finally deigned to put in an appearance here in the Pacific North West. About bloody time too, although our solar heated swimming pool won’t get used this year, mores the pity. Still, there’s other stuff to do, other writings which must claim my attention, oh, and travel. A fair bit of that in the next month or so. If something piques my interest I may post about it, possibly not. Tell you the truth I’m a little bored of online life, and must perforce go live my real one.

Not that anyone is remotely interested in that.

Euro fallback?

Rumours have reached this side of the Atlantic that the German Bundesbank has been printing Deutschmarks in case the much vaunted Euro falls over. Now these rumours are not new, and there are claims and counter claims about how much truth there is in them. We have no means of knowing if the presses at Giesecke & Devrient in Munich, Frankfurt, or Leipzig are running red hot in a clandestine way. Short of watching for extra deliveries of special paper and suchlike.

With the Carbon markets globally in the tank, said rumours do not come as a shock to the system, especially with the continuing economic Greek Tragedy. To be honest, it makes perfect sense as a fallback option. The only question is; will such a move (if the rumours are true) be needed? The only real way to verify would be confirmation from an inside source. Not that such an eventuality is likely.

If Greece does default; then the Euro’s demise will be almost assured. There’s been too much Eurozone borrowing and lending of money that doesn’t really exist for it to be otherwise. This will be an economic implosion of brobdingnagian repercussions. Although the only real casualty (as usual) will be the poor bloody UK, French, and German taxpayers.

For the moment, the Greek Government have voted to implement a new austerity package, and the Euro will squeak by on a wing and a prayer, which seems to be the sole reason for it’s existence as a currency. Although some of the Greek populace don’t seem terribly happy with the idea.

Of course that’s only the first of the packages the Greeks have to vote for (or against). Whatever happens, in the words of the Duke of Wellington (after Waterloo), it’s going to be “A damn nice thing-the nearest run thing you ever saw…”

Playing victimhood poker

I got caught out the other day doing some voluntary work. Actually I was covering for the paid staff’s lunch, which I do as a personal favour, not because I’m asked to.

At the time I made a remark to someone in response to a rather fatuous complaint. “Don’t worry, I’ll pass that one on.” I said in cheerful tones. Honestly, I thought the guy was kidding me by making such a nonsensical remark so my initial response was to blow off his complaint as though it were of no importance. Much to my surprise he came back at me with; “You just insulted me.”
To which my conditioned reflex was; “Wasn’t meant as an insult. I’m sorry you feel that way.” My mental response was a slightly confused ‘where the hell did that one come from?’. Although by then all I saw was his retreating back. Damn! Someone had been playing victimhood poker and I’d been so involved with other thoughts I missed an opening gambit.

Upon reflection I should have trusted the evidence of my own eyes. My accuser moved like someone with poor self esteem. Hunched up shoulders, slightly dragging footsteps and wearing his defensiveness like a shield. If I was security or a copper, he would have flagged up on my ‘Up-to-no-good-ometer’ right away. He acted furtive, if you know what I mean. If asked, I would have said the adjective ‘creepy’ would not have been too far off the mark. A veteran offence seeker like that should have had my mental defences ready with all guns loaded. Fortunately they are so rare in our neck of the woods that I’ve gotten out of practice dealing with such people. Good natured joshing is more usual in our part of Canada.

Notwithstanding, when playing victimhood poker, the idea is to trump the ‘offendedness’ of your opponent by insisting that you are the hurt party. No matter what the complaint against you, you must always claim the other party is actually in the wrong. This is a great game, and if played well can reduce one player to a grovelling apology in three sentences or less, regardless of any fault.

Let me demonstrate by example. Say we have two verbal combatants, Player 1 and Player 2. The game begins when Player 1 claims that their ‘feelings’ have been hurt. The reality of the Player 1‘s claimed offendedness does not matter, as Player 2‘s game objective is to negate present and future offence seeking behaviour. To win, Player 2 at no time should neither raise his/her voice, nor give the vaguest indication of smiling. An expression of indignant ire is a distinct advantage.
Player 1 opens with: “You insulted me!”
Player 2 counters with: “I find that accusation rather offensive.”
Player 1 is forced to fall back on: “But you insulted me!”
Player 2 can now offer: “Please don’t be patronising. I find your attitude vaguely (Player 2 inserts relevant ‘ist’ here). Kindly take your prejudice elsewhere before I call (Enter relevant authority figure here).”
Now this should be a winning gambit, as all Player 2 has to do to win is to insist that Player 1 is acting out of ‘prejudice’ and committing some vague sort of ‘thought crime’. However, it cannot be stressed too strongly that at no time must Player 2 indicate anything but muted moral outrage. Mocking laughter is only permissible after Player 1 is almost (But not quite) out of earshot. Extra points can be earned, should Player 1 return, hotly demanding apology for their ‘hurt’ feelings. At this juncture Player 2 should claim to be laughing at something else that was actually funny, and demand to know why Player 1 is indulging in ‘Offence seeking behaviour’ which Player 2, in his/her turn finds ‘violently offensive’ which Player 1 should immediately apologise for. In its purest form, this game is almost like playing ‘Cheese shop‘ without the Cheese, the shop, or the Monty Python references.

The winner is the first to obtain an apology.

I missed an opportunity like that? Crikey. I must be getting out of practice.

Warming? What warming?

We have a solar heated swimming pool. The weather has been so unusually cool that it will not get warm enough to use this year. Last year we were already taking dips to cool off.

Mt Washington has ski runs open in late June FFS!

Reduced snow melt means local water restrictions.

I can see snow covered mountains from my front deck. There’s usually much less on the coastal ranges by now.

Yet publicity hounds like David Suzuki and his camp followers are claiming that the current warming will be disastrous. Current warming? Where? I’d like to bloody see some.

EU Referendum has already taken a pop or two at these people and their delusions. Science? More like a bunch of whack jobs waiting for the comet / rapture / farcical non event.

Don’t even get me started on what utter nonsense the whole ‘cooling is warming’ is. Then again I’m using mark 1 eyeball and not some fancy scmancy computer model.

Welcoming the fallen

The longer I’m away, the more I think “Funny bunch, those Brits.” A whole slew of commentators read this piece in the Tellytubbygraph and fell to frothing at the keyboard. At first glance, you’d think the same, but as my old Dad was fond of telling me “Don’t believe all you read in the papers” . As always, the truth is a little more complex and mundane.

Wootton Bassett has been doing a sterling job of welcoming UK soldiers home who died overseas for some time, and the thought that British war dead were to be sneaked out the back door like so much garbage is utterly shameful. Yet the Failygraph piece misses one important piece of information; the dead only go through Wootton Bassett because the runway they would normally have come back to blighty via Brize Norton, has been closed since 2007, and instead have been coming via RAF Lyneham on the other side of Swindon Wiltshire. Now the runway at Brize is reopening, the repatriation flights will be going back to their previous routine.

The ‘new’ route will take the repatriated dead from Brize via Carterton, where a special memorial garden has been planned to honour the repatriated dead at the roadside. It’s worth noting that some of the comments in the article, from people who were consulted before the decision to re-route via Carterton are very telling. Although I’m sure that the rest of the Lamestream would not have done something so simple as do a little easy fact checking, rather than go for a cheap headline, now would they?

In Canada of course, we do things on a grander scale.

I know people are blaming Cameron, and don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s a patronising git, but on this occasion apart from mishandling the news like a bunch of 6 year olds writing their first essay, he and his government are not to blame. Even though there is no blame to be apportioned.

It took me about ten minutes to fact check this story. What a pity Hitchens in the Fail and Vicki somebody in the Tellytubbygraph couldn’t do the same. Clucking bell.

Update: Sent the text to our man on the spot, Witteringsfromwitney, who said that the good folk of Carterton had wanted to do a Wootton Bassett, and there had been quite a local spat about it. I’d like to point out there were issues about market days, narrow roads and the risk of loaded Hearses ‘grounding’ on specific routes, UK B and C class roads being what they are. All this was sorted out well before the headlines. So the ‘cheap headline’ accusation still holds good.

The further thought occurs, that newspaper reporters and columnists expect to get paid for shoddy work like that? Sheesh.

Expatriate expostulations from Canada

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 64 other followers

%d bloggers like this: